hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
