The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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