Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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