How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
