If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
