I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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