that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
