He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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