Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
