If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
