it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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