Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
