thus making me awesome and them whores
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
This is my gift to your gina
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
So much Jack, so little girl.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
please don't ironically join a cult
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