Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
