OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
