I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
