So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
