I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
