Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
