Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize