Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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