UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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