Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
