So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
