Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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