Where is the hickey?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
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