she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
