accomplished twins. life is a go
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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