Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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