Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
