You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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