I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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