You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
