No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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