I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
