Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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