i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
