Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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