...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
