i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
