remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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