i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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