An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
