Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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