Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
