no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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