just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
