just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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