There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
