This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
