Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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