When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
